Hope Of The Despaired Soul
by Originals143
Summary: I miss you, every single day. I really do. You've always been my lifeline and I don't know for how much more time I can pull myself without you. Please come back from wherever you are. AU.


**|: Hope Of The Despaired Soul :|**

* * *

From,  
Tarika Shergill  
A devastated world,  
Some mundane Part of the Earth

To,  
Tasha Kumar  
Somewhere amidst the stars,  
A land far away from this world

 **Subject: Just come back already!**

You shameless, manipulating woman,

Alright! Now this has become totally unacceptable! Just how dare you not answer _my_ phone calls and respond to my messages! I must have left literally hundreds of reminders on your stupid phone, but every time I get a Goddamned message saying your number is freaking invalid.

 _No, don't you tell me, little wacko, that you've changed your number. I swear I'll come up there and kick your fat ass, and I'm not even kidding here!_

And then, you make me resort to _this_ way of reaching you _-_ a fucking letter! But I'm not the one to give up, you know me, eh? Just please, freaking please just RESPOND to this at least and for the holy love of God, COME BACK, will you? Yes, please, I say, please come back from wherever on the entire range of galaxies you are. I hate pleading to _you_ of all the people, but if I could I would show you how ridiculously desperate I am to see you. And to punch your pretty face and throw you out of the window, yes! Exactly like how we used to mock-threaten each other. And then pull you back into a bone-crushing hug all at once.

Wait, don't you tell me you've found another best friend up there among the stars, which is why you no longer need to respond to me. _This_ , young lady, will _not_ be tolerated. I'm and I will be the _only_ star in your life, you better thrust that in your nut-sized brain. I have always been possessive about you and you know that very well.

Jokes apart, we have been cracking them for entirety anyway. But Tasha, like always you don't seem to understand the severity of all this, I assume and I bet my worthless life you must be laughing your head off while seeing me from some faraway part of the skies which you've proudly made your permanent home recently for reasons I'd never comprehend.

I agree, I completely agree your lungs were damaged beyond repair by the bullet which you took and with that you had no chances of survival. Or being among us, I should say. I agree I'm a doctor and I should make sense in what I'm saying. But, you know, Tasha, _you know_ I have lost sense of every-freaking-thing after you've gone, dammit! _You know_ my life is, and will be utterly meaningless without your presence in it! I don't know why people keep knocking this into my head, but sorry, I cannot, I simply cannot accept the fact that you are dead. No, instead _they_ have to be told that you're here and you will come back, today or tomorrow.

And be it your unfixable lungs or your stalled heart or your dysfunctional brain- I doubt you ever had any considering your worth-video-recording antics, that shouldn't be the reason for you to go away forever man, come on! So just _return_ to us for heaven's sake!

Every time I see all our weird posing photographs or watch our insanity-filled videos, I wish to share more and more such stupidity with you. And then I stare out the door for a few minutes hoping you'll dash in screaming like you always entered my house to annoy me. Or keep looking at my phone hoping for a mere call from you saying how much you hate me for spilling your bizarre activities to the team.

And then, the silence of the entrance to my house and on my phone shatters my heart. Every. Time. Also, I have to remind myself not to cry and that you won't be there to put a smile on my face anymore. Why Tasha, why? Why do you always get utmost pleasure to make me go through all this? Have I ever complained I don't like it when you irritate me or pull those terrible pranks on me? Then why? Why you do this to me? See- * sad pout *

There are still countless things I want to share with you. Some things same, some things different altogether.

You know that favourite ice-cream parlour of ours near the bureau? Sadly, that is closing down in a month. If you come we both can go there one last time and binge on their mouth-watering rum and raisins flavour. I remember how we haven't left a single dessert joint untried over all these years. And trust me, there are so many outlets which have opened up nearby which I'm waiting to try out with you.

Also, there's this new song which has released last week and it totally makes you groove. I want to sing and play it out with you in our insane yet oh-so melodious voices. Do you recollect how we used to bellow and scream out any random song together at absolutely any insignificant time for no reason and annoy the shit out of people? Dude, that was so much fun! So when you are back, we'll croon to this. Ohh by the way, its unplugged version is even more awesome!

A new symphony orchestra is to be played in the city next month. Will you accompany me this time as always? Ohh, how we both love attending such concerts!

Let me tell you something that'll get your instant attention- knowing what an absolute shameless wretch you are! I tripped and fell down last week. On my face, in the middle of the road, yes. Yea, laugh! Laugh all you can. Laugh till your sides ache. But do you know after that spectacular fall when people were attending to my bruises, I suddenly started laughing too? Not kidding! Needless to say, people around did assume me to be crazy. But then I stopped. I stopped, recalling how you used to laugh mercilessly whenever I used to trip or clumsily dash onto things. Or how I used to happily pinch your nose and force bitter medicines into your mouth.

As my ears searched for your mirthless giggles, the prick of the bruise stung me deep for the first time last week.

Ever since we met, you have either made me smile or annoyed me till the point I start pulling my hair. Then just how can you leave giving me all this lifelong solitude, Tasha? There were times when you put whatever you had into planting a smile on my face. I demand, Tasha, I order you to put that smile on my face again. The smile which only you can give me.

Sometimes I wonder how you can live up there in peace upon seeing me in this turmoil. I'm sure even your soul- since that's all you've got now- must be getting shattered into tiny pieces when you see me absently stare at the sky every single night, trying to search for answers. Don't you see the emptiness, the pain in my eyes? Haven't you ever felt the need to come down and fill my eyes with life again? To embrace me, violently shake me by my shoulders in your style and say "Tarika, you're fine. I'm here with you!"?

Or is it that after you left this world behind, you've simply forgotten about me and everything about us? No, this cannot be true, I know you so well.

And no, I'm not crying- not a single drop of tear as I write this. You can believe me for this. I know you'd fight the whole damn world for me if I get upset over the most trivial of things, so no, I'd definitely not like to put you through that shit this time at least.

The whole point here is to say that like two normal best friends, I want to share all the fun with you.

I want to go with the finest and the shadiest of restaurants to hog on all the oiliest and the most exotic food with you, I want to walk on the streets and check out random boys with you, I want to sing songs and play the guitar and dance awfully with you, I want to secretly visit pubs and chug tequila shots and talk gibberish on the way home with you, I want to come up with sassy answers to throw at random losers' opinions with you, I want to enjoy and celebrate the tiniest and the silliest of pleasures with you, I want to go shopping with you and threaten to gift you the gaudiest of clothes for your birthday, I want to exchange romantic messages with you just for fun, I want to have cooking sessions and then purposely make over exaggerated faces at our "scrumptious" preparations with you, I want to go into a hibernating shell and share the most intense of secrets with you, I want to sit at the beach and stare at the tranquil waters and the setting sun with you, and I want to sneak out of my house and sit on the rooftop till wee hours of the night and talk about all nonsensical things with you. And my Lord, do you remember how we used to tease each other with such innovative abuses not even invented in the history of abuses?! And at the end of the day, we'd be utterly satisfied with the level of abusing we'd reached. Damn, our days wouldn't be complete without all this, right?!

But now, I want this. I want all of this. And for that, you have to, you _must_ come back!

 _Because we'd promised each other we'd do all such stupid shit together._ And I want to keep that promise with you.

I miss you, my cartoon! I really do. You've always been my lifeline and I don't think for how much more time I can pull myself without you.

Hey, since you're staying at the Almighty's place Himself, why don't you ask for His permission to let you visit me for some time? He is the humblest of all and I'm sure He won't deny you. Just try asking once, na? Just tell Him I cannot, I can never live without you. Rather, I should have told this to _you_ earlier, at least you'd have stayed then. Or the best case, ask Him to at least call me up there soon. This way, we both can be together forever. Wow, just imagine us showing all our insane antics to all the Gods in heaven!

You and everyone else may say I've lost my mind as I write this, but only you know my heart has never lied to you. Especially when you have always had access to its deepest parts. But you seem to have taken away the key to my heart… and to my happiness. Nevertheless, I know someday we'll meet again. And then we'll live and we'll laugh and we'll cry as one in an altogether different world!

You're my psychotic bitch and my donkey and my buffalo and my sexy hippopotamus, my ultimate drama queen and the king of my heart all the same.. and of course, my warrior tigress. And I love you!

See you real soon. Till then, take care.  
PS. I hope you're not troubling the heavenly souls up there.

Forever and ever,  
Your favourite curly-haired first love

..

 **~~ The End ~~**

..

 **A/N:** Though I no longer give a damn about CID, I can never, ever, EVER get over Tasha. That's all I have to say and that's all I will say.


End file.
